Urban Survival Weapons: How to Protect Against Scumbags in the City!

Are urban survival weapons really necessary to have?

Hell yeah, they are!

In this article, I’ll show you exactly what weapons you need to stay safe during the next economic collapse, natural disaster, or zombie apocalypse. I’ve given this a lot of thought over the years because I live in a big city myself, and self defense is never far from my mind.

82% of Americans live in major cities.

Over 8 million people live in NYC alone. That's a lot of people crammed into a very small space.

Natural disasters are unpredictable and inevitable (think Hurricane Katrina or the last major earthquake). An economic meltdown also appears to be in the cards here in America (to anyone paying attention).

If you live in a major city, then when SHTF you’re going to find yourself surrounded by a lot of hungry, angry, unemployed people really fast. Even during good times, urban butt-heads are willing to assault each other over spicy chicken sandwiches.

How much more aggressive will criminals become once they know the police are overwhelmed, under staffed, and unable to respond to your calls? (Remember those “mostly peaceful” riots in 2020?)

Throw in a dash of economic collapse, and normally law abiding citizens will happily disembowel you with a plastic sfork in order to feed themselves and their children.

You need urban survival weapons to protect yourself!

An urban survival weapon is anything you can use to whoop some ass while living in the city. The only difference is the amount of consideration you need to have in regards to concealment, legality, and the possibility of collateral damage when using firearms in confined spaces.

Now lets get to it before the zombies catch us with our pants down...

In a disaster, you’ve got two defensive obligations:

1. Protect yourself (and your family) while at home.

2. Protect yourself while out and about.

Urban Survival Weapons for the Home

You need to have firearms in your home. You may not like guns, but you need them.

As Confucius once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a 12 gauge shotgun blast to the dome will stop a zombie, a rhinoceros, an elephant, and certainly any knucklehead dumb enough to break into your siheyuan (traditional Chinese house).”

Anyway, I’m pretty sure he said that...

You need a shotgun for several reasons...

1. No urban survival weapon available to civilians has the stopping power of a shotgun. One blast from a 10 or 12 gauge shotgun at close quarters will not only stop a burgler from breaking into your house and murdering you, it will turn his insides into a spectacular explosion of cherry flavored Jello.

The sound of that one shot will be loud enough to send his bone-headed gang of criminal partners fleeing for their lives. Threat neutralized.

Did you know? 

“Gauge” refers to the the inner diameter of your shotgun barrel. The smaller the gauge, the bigger the barrel.

A 10 gauge shotgun is bigger and more powerful than a 12 gauge. A 12 gauge shotgun is bigger and more powerful than a 20 gauge.

Get a 12 gauge. It's very commonly owned, so the ammunition is easier to find.


2. Other firearms are notorious for shooting bullets that fly through the body of your attacker, and then through the wall of your house, into the street, and into your neighbor’s house. Not cool, man!

Accidentally shooting into your neighbors house isn’t as likely in the countryside where houses are far apart, but we’re talking about urban survival weapons. When you live in the city, its important to load your shotgun with something that will stay in your enemy’s body... or at least not travel too far beyond. Thats buckshot.

Use the 00 size if you’re looking for maximum devastation. (And if you’re preparing for a zombie apocalypse, you should always be looking for maximum devastation.)

The next best urban survival weapon is a handgun!

Shotguns have a ton of kick and not everyone in your household is going to be comfortable using one. A handgun is much less intimidating to use and with the right ammo, it can have very significant stopping power.

Get a pistol chambered for 9mm ammunition. 9mm is inexpensive and easy to find. Make sure your bullets are hollow points. Those expand on impact, which increases their knockdown power and makes over penetration (shooting into your poor neighbor’s house) less likely.

One of the main benefits of owning a handgun is that its much more portable than a shotgun. Its easily concealable, which is important in case you need to go anywhere with it.

You could theoretically carry a shotgun around the city, but you’ll have to hide it in a box of long stem roses like Arnold in T2.

Pulling out a shotgun from a box of long stem roses before blasting a hoard of zombies would be freakin awesome, I admit, but play it safe and get a pistol.

Urban Survival Weapons for Outside of the Home!

Whether your house is surrounded by zombies, communist invaders, or the starving masses willing to do anything to survive, you have to go outside eventually.

You’re gonna have to restock your food, water, medical supplies, and other necessities, and you’re going to have to bring money with you. That makes you a target.

Don’t be an unarmed sucka! Carry urban survival weapons!

When you live in a big city, you’re usually not allowed to carry firearms outside the home. You can conceal a small pistol on you, but you run the risk of arrest.

That might be worth it if conditions are so dangerous you absolutely can’t leave the house without a gun, but keep in mind you’ve got options...

For example, bladed weapons!

Did you know that in California (the most oppressive state in America as far as armed citizenry goes), there technically is no legal limit to how long your open carry knife can be?

As long as you don’t conceal it, and its not a butterfly knife or a switchblade which are both really, really, really scary to liberal politicians, its legal.

(By the way, NONE of this is to be construed as legal advice. Do NOT take legal advice from a website with the words “zombie” and “bugout” in the name.)

Did you ever see that episode of Breaking Bad where Gus nearly decapitated his own henchman with a box cutter? I know what you’re thinking, because I’m thinking it too! A box cutter makes an amazing urban survival weapon!

Its not illegal to carry a box cutter - not if you can make a reasonable claim that you’ve been cutting boxes, and thanks to Jeff Bezos, everyone cuts boxes these days.

Honestly, it would be difficult to slash a zombie deep enough to disable or kill it with a box cutter. The blade is just too small. However, the sight of a box cutter in your hand is enough to dissuade most robbers and attackers.

Nobody wants to get slashed in the face or in the nads with a box cutter, no matter how tough they look.

One of the coolest urban survival weapons you can carry is a good bowie knife.

A bowie knife can make even dweebs look badass. It will also dissuade criminals from targeting you over those they perceive as easier prey. Not zombies, though... Zombies don’t respect nada. You'll have to teach them to respect you the old fashioned way... with a bowie knife!

Another urban survival weapon they can’t arrest you for carrying is... a hammer!

Yes, a hammer. If its good enough for Thor, its good enough for you! A hammer is relatively small, concealable, easy to wield, and is absolutely devastating on impact.

You can smash a zombie’s head like a rotten watermelon with a hammer. If a nosy cop asks why you’re carrying it, just tell him you’re coming from a job at a construction site, where you’re building a donut shop.

A baseball bat can be almost as destructive as a hammer, plus it gives you additional range. Range is important when the person attacking you hasn’t bathed or brushed their teeth in months, or when being bitten by that attacker could infect you with a bacteria that turns you into a flesh eating zombie.

If a cop asks why you’re carrying a baseball bat, just tell him you’re taking it to a pawn shop to sell for money, which you need to finance the building of a donut shop.

Pepper spray is probably the best thing you can carry.

And its perfectly legal. You can temporarily incapacitate someone from 12 feet away using pepper spray, and for you softies out there, you don’t have to worry about possibly killing someone just to protect yourself or your property.

So don’t resist using it until the last possible moment and you have absolutely no choice but to pepper spray an attacker. Spray them, for Crom's sake! Spray them!

A wise man once said: “Strike first. Strike hard. No mercy.” That's the kind of deep, spiritually informed philosophy that practically guarantees you’ll survive the zombie apocalypse (and any other kind of freakin apocalypse).


Stay alive.


-Tommy